Fascinated Page 22

  She should not have doubted. This was Verity and in the reflection, Verity clutched the letter tight, and grinned as if she were a child seeing the sun for the first time.

  Edward withdrew the magic slowly, and Alicia let the vision fade. She fell back in her chair, a little winded, but immensely relieved.

  “We were in time,” she said. “She’ll be safe.”

  “You can count on it,” Edward told her. “Once she is installed at Jane’s school, her parents will receive a visit from the captain, which will persuade them she is safe and does not need to be sought after.”

  She suspected there would be magic or glamour involved in that, and it made her uncomfortable. Enough deception had been practiced on the Hartwells. She would have to speak with the captain. There had to be a way to explain.

  “Strange,” she murmured.

  “What is?” asked Edward.

  “Before we began, I wanted nothing more than to get away from that house and my family. Now, I am thinking of how to return to them, and how to help them. Especially Aunt Mary. There must be something we can do.”

  Edward nodded, his face drawn tight. “I have no doubt it was Hester who brought Mary’s illness down on her as punishment for her defiance, but she cannot risk Mary actually dying. From what we’ve seen so far, there’s no Seer in the family to replace her, and without a Seer, they will not only be working blind, but they will be going against what she was taught as necessary for the family’s survival.”

  “And Aunt Hester would not do such a thing,” Alicia finished for him.

  “Just so.” Edward came forward and kissed her, his mouth warm and welcome against her own. She leaned into that kiss, yearning springing from the deepest part of her. When he straightened up, he cupped her cheek and smiled into her eyes.

  “You should rest yourself now,” said Edward. “Lady Jane and Lynne will send a message as soon as they have Verity safe with them. I must report to the captain, but I’ll return as soon as I am able.”

  He drew away and turned toward the door. Alicia knew she should let him go, but suddenly she could not stand his leaving. She was tired, but she already knew she would not find any rest. Not alone. Her mind was too full with all she had seen and done. There was something else as well, an unease that would not leave her, but that she could not fully name.

  “He knew,” she said abruptly.

  Edward paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned back toward her. “Knew what?”

  “That we weren’t married. He said he could not see the mark of it on me.”

  She waited for him to tell her she was being foolish. In the face of all they had waiting for them, how could she consider such a trivial matter now? But Edward only returned to Alicia’s side and took up her hand, gently running his thumb over her fingers. “They play on our emotions, Alicia,” he reminded her. “He was searching for a weakness he could turn against you.”

  “I thought as much. It doesn’t mean anything.” But she turned her face away as she said it.

  “Alicia?”

  “I know. You will marry me if I wish it.” She clasped her hands together, trying to will mind and emotion into some semblance of order. Edward needed to leave. He needed to report to his captain, and she needed to let him go. She had nothing to fear from being alone with her thoughts. She was safe in this house. Nothing could harm her here.

  She lifted her face toward him once more and shaped her lips into a smile, but it faded swiftly away when she saw how he looked at her. There was an intensity in his regard different from any she had yet seen. Edward seemed to be skirting the edge of anger, but at the same time, she saw need welling up inside him as well.

  “It’s been too soon, too strong.” He was down on his knees beside her so she could look him directly in his eyes. “I want us to be sure, Alicia.”

  “But we’ve…” she stammered, heat rising fast to her cheeks.

  “Yes, yes, we’re shared a bed and explored our passion, and I’m glad of it. But that is different from marriage, different from a declaration of love.” He reclaimed her hand where it lay nerveless in her lap. “I do not want you to be hurried into saying something you will regret, Alicia. I would spare you that. But you must understand, if I have not spoken plainly, it is not because I feel nothing for you.”

  “Edward…”

  She got no further. “I wish there was more time,” said Edward harshly, bowing his head to kiss her hand once more. “I wish I could make you understand one-tenth of what I have come to feel for you.”

  Slowly, Alicia raised her free hand. Almost distantly she watched as its palm lay on Edward’s head. She liked the feel of his hair threaded between her fingers as she pulled back gently, just enough to raise his eyes toward hers. She had to see his eyes. She had to be sure.

  And she saw the love, the trust and the need in him. There was no mistaking it. But there was doubt too; doubt of himself more than her and she could not permit that to remain.

  “You told me to trust my feelings,” Alicia breathed.

  “Yes.”

  She kissed him. It was no tentative gesture. It was open and deep, with her tongue seeking his. She pulled him up and forward so his hard chest pressed against her breasts. He wrapped his hands around her waist, steadying her and raising them both to their feet. His cock had already begun to swell and he pressed their hips together, letting her feel it. She answered by hissing in a deep breath.

  “I want you, Edward,” she whispered in his ear. “I want you now.”

  “Alicia, you have me.”

  He laid her back against the bed, kissing her slowly and sweetly as he lowered her down so he could cover her completely with his body. She writhed beneath his weight, equally impatient and delighted as her hands tugged ineffectually at his coat and shirt. She needed him naked. She needed them to be skin to skin without any impediments. She needed the whole of him, now, at once.

  Edward caught her urgency and understood. His hands moved swiftly and efficiently, teasing her breasts, her belly, her ass and thighs, and at the same time stripping them both bare. Naked, he rolled her over until they came to rest, panting, in the center of the bed. He reared up over her, taking his weight on his elbows while he rubbed his erection hard against her damp slit.

  “Now, Edward.” She took his face both her hands so he could not look away from her. “I need you to fuck me, right now.” She wrapped her legs around his thighs, pulling him down, inviting him into her as brazenly and urgently as was possible.

  The mischief faded from his face, leaving only the love and the desire. Their gazes locked as he pressed his hips forward. His cock sank into her. A sensation like relief spread through Alicia and still looking into his gray eyes, she lifted her own hips, urging him deeper. With agonizing slowness, he slid himself into her until his balls brushed her folds and his cock filled every inch of her sheath. But it still wasn’t enough.

  “Hard,” she demanded, as he had taught her. “I want it hard!”

  “Oh, yes.”

  He thrust suddenly. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips as he tightened his grip on her, so he could thrust again, and again. He drove into her wildly, all caution and restraint gone. Alicia cried out, arching her back and tightening her legs around his. Edward fell against her. His weight crushed her breasts against his chest, and that felt good too. But there was more, beyond the relentless thrust of his cock in her sheath, beyond the honeyed fire spreading across every inch of her skin where his hands moved, squeezing and touching and urging. The golden current that was their magic rippled through her blood as well. It made a conduit for their pleasure, wrapping her in his sensations and at the same time filling him with hers, until there was no distinguishing between the two. Cock or pussy, breasts, chest, clit, balls—it was a single, glorious delirium. She felt his fierce joy in the greedy pleasure of her body, and knew he felt hers. She felt the thrill of her own heat, and he felt the pleasure of being filled so completely, the frustrati
ng delight of being pinned by greater weight and strength, helpless to do anything but receive. She felt the maddening contractions, the hot, silken glide, the triumphant power of sexual control.

  It was too much, far, far too much and yet Alicia knew with what shred of reason remained, she’d never again be lured by counterfeit of passion. In taking her so far with love and magic together, Edward had freed her of that. In his embrace, Alicia was finally, gloriously and completely free.

  Twenty-two

  There was no more time to waste. After he had secured Alicia’s solemn promise that she would rest, and eat a proper meal, Carstairs returned to his own room to change his shirt and coat. He paused only to send Luddington down to have phaeton made ready and brought to the front.

  Even so, by the time he reached the door in the nameless alley near St. Paul’s, it was already full dark. Carstairs tossed hat and stick aside in the tidy parlor and strode directly through into Captain Smith’s office. The captain was at his desk, hunched over a book the size of a world atlas with a magnifying glass held close to his eyes. The strongbox holding the Hartwell amulet also waited on Smith’s desk, a stark reminder, if he needed one, of the seriousness of the situation.

  Without looking up, the captain waved Carstairs toward the chairs by the hearth. Carstairs moved aside, but did not sit. He was too filled with energy. The carriage ride had been delay enough.

  Alicia loved him. He was certain of it now. It remained only for them to resolve the crisis of her family. Then they would be able not just to be together, but to marry. It was startling to feel the change within him. He had eschewed marriage, even long term connection for much of his life, but all that had changed. It had changed the moment in Alicia’s arms when he felt her final release. She had flown as much to freedom as to ecstasy in his arms, and the whole armor of his heart which he had so carefully constructed over the years had crumbled in the blink of an eye. He loved her and he would love her, and if this was his famed recklessness emerging to take charge, so be it. He would marry Alicia, freely and gladly and life would begin again for them both. It would not be easy. He still must obey the dictates of his duty, but they would find a way. Alicia already had shown him that together, they could do anything. Neither the power of the Fae, nor the malice of one old woman, would stand between them now.

  Smith muttered something under his breath. He laid a silk ribbon down to mark the page where he had been reading and closed the creaking covers. Only then did he lean back and give Edward his full attention.

  “So, my lord. What have you learned?”

  Carstairs told him. He laid out the whole history of Alicia’s family and the reasons for her enchantment that they had discovered. By the end of the story, his optimism and energy had sunk deep enough into anger to leave him shaking.

  Get a hold of yourself. Carstairs clenched his fists behind his back. You’re giddy as a schoolboy, and it will not serve.

  If the captain noticed Carstairs’s lack of composure, he gave no sign. He was looking sourly at the strongbox instead. “Fool’s gold,” Smith muttered. “I’ve been seeking to understand an enchantment no human could duplicate. Well, there’s some comfort in it. I had thought my powers failing me at last.” He touched his quizzing glass where it dangled from his watch chain. “But, that is neither here nor there. We must make plans. The Fae cannot be allowed to recapture of Alicia Hartwell.”

  Carstairs nodded. Alicia had escaped the Fae King not once, but twice now. At the very least, it was an effrontery for which the Fae would seek revenge. At the worst, it made her an obstacle to be swept aside.

  “We must send her abroad.” Carstairs had spent the entire journey here preparing himself to speak those words. The idea of parting from Alicia, even temporarily, was painful, but if it kept her safe…

  “It’s too late for that,” Smith’s words cut across his thoughts. “The Fae King’s marked her now. He will be able to follow her anywhere in the world, and when he finds her, he will strip her mind bare of all she knows, of you, and of the Service.”

  Carstairs went still. “But she knows nothing.”

  “Are you sure of that, my lord?” asked Smith quietly. “Are you absolutely sure?”

  He had no answer. He had been bound up in considerations of Alicia’s safety. He had not let himself see beyond that. Certainly not to the possibility that her struggles with the Fae could constitute a threat to the Service, not once he’d become certain she was a victim of the king’s plans rather than a participant. Carstairs let his mind range back across the conversations he’d held with Alicia about the Service. There had not been many. “I was careful,” he told Smith. “But now that we know she’s innocent of deception, she can be brought more fully into our confidence and given the option of entering into the Service herself. That will protect both us and her.”

  “That will not be possible.”

  “Why?” he demanded.

  Smith did not reply. He just lifted his quizzing glass and regarded Carstairs steadily through its sparkling lens. A furious outburst rose up in Carstairs’ throat, but he managed to check it. He forced himself to pause, and to look at circumstances as a trained agent, not as a love-struck boy.

  Alicia remained in danger. If that danger had been only from her family, that would have been easily overcome. But she was sought after by their greatest enemy. A lesser Fae they might have trapped and dealt with, but this was the king. His power was far beyond anything Edward had ever faced. It would be disastrous if the king were able to capture Alicia. Her mind and heart would be laid as bare to him as a woman as it had been as a child. She would have no secrets, no volition. She’d become just one more of his tools, or toys.

  It could not be allowed to happen. Not for the sake of the Service, or of the Crown. And not for Alicia’s own sake.

  “What must we do?”

  “I think you know.” Smith laid his hand on the strongbox.

  Carstairs’s heart stopped within him. A dozen protestations formed in his mind, but he could not shape a single one out loud.

  “Thanks to your discoveries, we now know this amulet will hide a soul, even from their king,” Smith said. “While Alicia wears it, she will remain undetected. What the Fae cannot find, they cannot steal.” The captain paused. “I have never been more sorry in my life, Carstairs, but it is the only way.”

  Carstairs heard Smith’s words. He understood them. Their logic was plain and simple. But at the same time, they were like a death sentence delivered from a judge in the high court. No. It was worse, for it would condemn Alicia to a living hell. He thought of her uncles in their study, with their blank, listless talk and their empty hearts. They at least had no memory of freedom to torment them. Alicia had tasted what it was to be fully herself. He had helped give her that freedom. How could he take it away again?

  “But you don’t know what it does, sir—what it did—to her,” he croaked. “It hid away all her feeling, her heart, her passion…”

  “Would you rather she be killed? Or given over to the mercies of the Fae? Those are our other choices.”

  Edward felt the room and its environs receding. It was as if he stood outside himself, looking on the anguish on his own face.

  “No, sir.” His hand gripped the back of the chair beside him as if he meant to rip the wood in two. His captain, the man who had trained him, who had all but raised him, was giving an order and for the first time in his life, he did not want to obey.

  It was then Carstairs saw the weakness in the Service’s defense. It was himself. His heart. Edward had sworn over Nick’s grave he would never fail in his duty again. Since then, he had sacrificed others to the cause and seen his fellows do the same. They were at war. It was necessary. He never permitted himself to doubt this. But now, after priding himself for having dedicated his life entirely to duty, he had tossed the certainty of his role in the Service to the four winds. He’d done it for Alicia and Alicia’s love. He had been warned, and warned again that he was in
danger from his own feelings, and he had not listened. He did not want to listen now. He wanted to shout and curse, blow the captain down like he would a lazy man on watch. He wanted to march from this place to his home, to sweep Alicia up in his arms and bear her away. The service and the Fae and the whole world could go straight to the Devil as long as she was safe and with him.

  He could go to the Devil too, because in the riot of his own mind, he could still see thing clearly—Nick, dying amid the wreckage of the plush back room in the Bella Sognore club. If Carstairs turned away from duty now, even for Alicia, Nick died for nothing.

  “If you cannot do this, I will give the task to someone else.” There might have been some sympathy in the captain’s voice, but it was difficult for Edward to hear over the roaring of his own blood in his ears.

  “No, sir. If it is to be done, I will do it. I…I will need a little time, however.”

  Smith lifted his glass again. Edward stayed where he was, letting himself be examined. Slowly, he became aware of how much his fingers ached from clutching the chair back. He lifted his hand away and wiped his sweating palm against his breeches.

  “There isn’t much time, Edward,” said his captain softly. “The wards on your house are very good, but they will not stand up to an assault from so much power.”

  “I know that.” Carstairs hung his head. Anger and fear had burnt out in him. He felt hollow, as if the next strong wind would blow him away. “It will be done before sunset tomorrow.”

  Smith regarded him for a moment longer and then lowered his glass. “Very well. You may have until then. I will contact you if anything changes.”